parents

WTF Fun Fact 13562 – FOMO a Reason For Having Children

Societal norms and pressures to conform shape our decisions, including the reason for having children.

According to the Rutgers study, 7% of American parents express regret about having children. This sentiment is even more pronounced in European countries, with 8% in Germany and a startling 13.6% in Poland expressing the same regret. What’s behind these numbers? One primary driver seems to be FOMO.

Is FOMO a Reason For Having Children?

It’s human nature to measure one’s progress against peers, often leading to feelings of envy or the pursuit of societal acceptance. While these feelings typically dictate our consumer choices or lifestyle habits, the profound effect they might have on intimate decisions, like starting a family, has remained relatively unexplored until now.

The research from Rutgers reveals that a notable fraction of parents in the U.S. experience regret about their choice to have children. A significant factor behind these sentiments? The lurking presence of FOMO.

Deciphering Parenthood’s FOMO

Professor Kristina M. Scharp at Rutgers offers insights into the deeper motivations that underpin the choice of parenthood.

For many, societal standards exert considerable influence. In addition, there is a prevailing notion that embracing parenthood equates to unlocking unparalleled love and a sense of purpose.

Contrary to this widely-held belief, her study implies that the fear of being left out of a pivotal life journey might be the driving force for many, This can even overshadow genuine parental aspirations.

Gleaning Insights about the Reasons for Having Childrenfrom Online Conversations

To grasp the underlying sentiments more comprehensively, the researchers explored the discussions on the /r/childfree platform on Reddit. This digital space offers a haven for those who consciously choose to remain without children. So, by examining the discussions, the research team hoped to decode the multifaceted feelings and experiences surrounding the choice of parenthood.

Three distinct perspectives on parenting emerged from their examination: the idyllic view of parenting, the challenging and taxing nature of parenthood, and viewing parenthood as an inevitable path.

A previously uncharted factor weaving through these discussions was FOMO.

This revelation holds significant implications for how individuals approach family planning. Grasping these latent motivations can empower individuals to make decisions that resonate with their true values, rather than succumbing to societal pressures.

— WTF fun facts

Source: “Family planning and the fear of missing out” — ScienceDaily

WTF Fun Fact 13073 – Teens Tune Out

Got teenagers? Do you feel like they listen to you? If not, it’s likely because our brains rewire themselves to tune out our parents in our teen years. In fact, Stanford University research shows that teens tune out their mothers’ voices around the age of 13.

How teens tune out

More specifically, according to Stanford (cited below), “Around age 13, kids’ brains no longer find their moms’ voices uniquely rewarding, and they tune into unfamiliar voices more.”

Of course, this doesn’t give a person a free pass not to listen to their mom. But it does seem to be an evolutionary mechanism. Our brains are preparing to separate us from our parents in the long run – something we all have to do in order to become successful adults.

Clinical associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences Daniel Abrams, Ph.D. told Stanford News: “Just as an infant knows to tune into her mother’s voice, an adolescent knows to tune into novel voices. As a teen, you don’t know you’re doing this. You’re just being you: You’ve got your friends and new companions and you want to spend time with them. Your mind is increasingly sensitive to and attracted to these unfamiliar voices.”

Rewarding signals

All of these changes have to do with the reward centers of the brain. The brain prioritizes stimuli (like certain voices) that activate the reward centers. Unfamiliar voices start to stimulate the brain more around age 13. So while they are still capable of listening to their moms, teens simply don’t get the same level of stimulation and comfort from her familiar voice as they did as children.

In most ways, this is a good thing. It’s a sign that their brain is maturing and getting ready to engage with the world independently from their parents. This allows them to become “socially adept outside their families” – something required for any adult.

How things change over time

Under the age of 12, kids can identify their mom’s voice with great precision, and it tends to activate reward centers and emotion-processing regions of the brain. But if you’re a mom, take heart. Your voice is what sets your child’s brain up for their social and emotional future.

According to co-author Percy Mistry, Ph.D., “The mother’s voice is the sound source that teaches young kids all about the social-emotional world and language development.”

But things change as we grow up. And the switch towards privileging unfamiliar voices between ages 13 and 14 happens at the same time in all genders. — WTF fun facts

Source: “The teen brain tunes in less to Mom’s voice, more to unfamiliar voices, study finds” — Stanford University

WTF Fun Fact 12708 – Parents Sue For Grandchildren

In a story that raised eyebrows around the world, a couple in India is telling their son and daughter-in-law that waiting six years for a grandchild is just too long (or at least long enough).

Sanjeev Ranjan Prasad and Sadhana Prasad paid for an education in the U.S. so their son could become a pilot, bought him a luxury car, and financed his lavish wedding and overseas honeymoon. And now they are looking for payback in the form of a grandchild to dote on.

The couple’s lawyer, Arvind Srivastava, seems to understand: “I feel very sorry for them because I am also an Indian and I can understand their pain,” he said. “This is an Indian parent thing.”

There are probably plenty of prospective grandparents around the world who can sympathize with the disappointment, but it’s the lawsuit (and the accompanying feeling of entitlement) that is…let’s say…puzzling.

They seem to feel that the money was an investment in their own child so they could get something back – in the form of a grandchild. They’ve expressed sadness, embarrassment, and now a bit of litigious rage that the couple seems to have no interest in having a baby after six years. And they seem to think that they are now owed $650,000 for the disappointment and humiliation they have endured.

The deal is that the young couple can now take a year to produce the heir or pay up, and a northern Indian court is overseeing the case (which, according to most legal scholars, will go nowhere).

But regardless of whether or not the case just goes away, it’s raising a debate about what kids owe their parents, legally and spiritually.

According to the NYT: “In the Hindu faith, as in other traditions, children have a duty to repay a moral debt to their parents by taking care of them in their old age. Having grandchildren is also seen as necessary to carry forward a family’s lineage and help one’s parents achieve enlightenment.”

Here’s an interview with the parents involved:

– WTF fun facts

Source: “No Grandchild? Six Years After Son’s Wedding, These Parents Are Suing” — The New York Times